Let's face it, the dating game has gotten tough. Back in the day, all a guy had to do was bench press the nearest goat a few times to make a woman his wife, and all a woman had to do was make the slightest sexual hint, intentional or otherwise, and a man would pursue her around Necto until closing time.

Wait, I got my eras mixed up.

Oh well, my point is that you don't want to head out into the night unarmed. Sure, you could blow your money on a designer shirt that no one will notice and try and pick up an airhead, but why not put your eggs in the basket titled "cleverly adorable" and go with this little number.

Nothing says "I am funny, confident, 100% STD-Free, and all-around awesome" like a clever shirt asking for a backrub.

Once you get 'em rubbing your back, you're just a night's worth of playful flirting or $150 cash away from a happy ending.

Good Luck, my Friend!