Here's the thing about Blumpkins: if you know what they are, then you are automatically a dirtball, and you are no better than I am, even though I am the one who sat down, drew this shirt, and am now sending hundreds of them out into the world.

Furthermore, anyone who doesn't know what a blumpkin is will never, in a million years, guess what it is. With that in mind, even if your grandma were to catch you wearing this, all you have to say is "it means 'potty', Gammy." She'll sigh, and give you a joking slap on the arm, before shaking her head and muttering about the state of today's youth.

God, if she only knew.