Roy G. Biv was one of my earliest friends. He sat next to me in my first grade science class, always colorful but never very talkative, mostly on account of his being a poster and all.

Roy didn't have much to say about most things that interest a first grader. He didn't know anything about Ninja Turtles, Nintendo, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but there was one thing we always bonded over: coloring. Roy loved colors.

Let me re-phrase that. Roy loved seven colors. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. If you kept the talk to those seven, you and Roy were thick as thieves. But if you dared suggest that a broader spectrum existed beyond that tiny crayon box, Roy'd just look at you like you were crazy.

I remember one day in April of '92, a nice, quiet little girl named Maggie was paired up to work on coloring a poster of a whale with Roy and I. Things started off fine, after we chose to color the whale blue, but soured really quick when Maggie produced a Robin's Egg Blue crayon from her pencil case. The sight of it was just too much for Ol' Roy, and I will be damned if he didn't haul off and smack poor Maggie right square on the mouth, right in the middle of a crowded first grade classroom on a Tuesday afternoon.

Well, after that Roy had to go. The principal came in and tore the poster down, and we never heard from him again. Maggie was just fine. Settled down with a nice feller, I hear tell.

That story was not true. There is literally nothing to write about a children's color acronym.