While you would think that this design is too specific to warrant the overhead of printing and stocking, we heard from a stoned guy at a party once that 12% of every freshman class since 1988 has gotten an MIP at a fall block party.

We aren't really sure what is so confusing about "stay off the sidewalk," particularly when it is being screamed at you by thousands of older students, yet year after year, like newly hatched turtles navigating a minefield of predators on their way to the sea, hordes of freshmen tumble off of private property and into the waiting clutches of the Ann Arbor Police

It's a tragic spectacle, true, but a fundamental part of the Ann Arbor Circle of Life, and by all accounts must keep taxes lower for the rest of us by single-handedly funding the police department for the year through a few weekends of mass-ticketing.

Thanks, dude!